


Maximum Strength

by 852_Prospect_Archivist



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Drama, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 06:41:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/795008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/852_Prospect_Archivist/pseuds/852_Prospect_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blair realizes that he can't leave.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maximum Strength

## Maximum Strength

by silvina

Standard Disclaimer. They work hard, now they get to play (nice). Please send comments, questions, compliments, and otters to sdelcul@yahoo.com.

* * *

Sarah McLachlan, "Circle"   
There are two of us talking in circles and one of us who wants to leave   
In a world created for only us,   
an empty cage that has no key 

I can't leave. God help me, I don't want to. But I have to be able to or I will. I know it doesn't make a lot of sense, but I've made it this far by trusting myself and I'm telling myself that if the door is locked than I have to get out. 

Don't you know we're working with flesh and blood, carving out of jealousy   
Crawling into each other   
it's smothering every little part of me 

You, Sentinel; me Guide. Destiny, Fate . . . . . We're written in the stars, you and me. Everybody thinks we make such a cute couple, even the people who only think they know that we're a couple, think we're a cute couple. 

What kind of love is this that keeps me hanging on, despite everything it's doing to me   
What is this love that keeps me coming back for more when it will only end in misery 

I've been threatened, assaulted, kidnapped, drugged, shot, almost everything possible except raped or murdered. And I just keep popping up to say, "Please sir, may I have another." Naomi would freak if she knew half of the stuff that happens. 

I know too many people unhappy,   
in a life from which they'd love to flee Watching others get everything offered; they're wanton for discovery 

I totally thought I could avoid this whole thing. I dated women, but it was always very casually. The second a hint of seriousness came up I turned and ran. Learned that from my mom as well. 

Oh my brother, my sister, my mother, you're losing your identity. Can't you see that it's you in the window, shining with intensity? 

And then I fell in love with a man. Not just any man either. A cop, a divorced cop. And subconsciously I figured he's not going to want an official commitment. But of course this is Jim, Mr. Commitment, I still figured that with the risk of homophobia I was safe. 

What kind of love is this that keeps me hanging on, despite everything it's doing to me   
What is this love that keeps me coming back for more, when it will only end in misery 

I'll admit it. I'm a chicken. I wanted to be in a committed relationship with Jim without _Being in a Committed Relationship with Jim_. I have to say no. I hate this. I really really hate this. Blair walked back out into the living room where Jim was waiting, a surprised look still on his face. He obviously hadn't expected Blair to walk off. "I'm sorry, Jim. I can't do this." 

If he hadn't been looking directly at Jim he probably wouldn't have seen the despair that crashed over his face for just a moment before it was pushed back into the far regions of the mind where Jim had packed up every other hurt and scar. Seeing that, Blair was powerless. He couldn't hurt Jim, not over this. 

" . . . Uh, I mean not without Simon and Naomi. And Brian, and H, and Daryl and . . . " 

Jim was staring at him almost in shock and Blair remembered that Jim was a Sentinel. He could tell from Blair's racing pulse that - 

"Are you sure, Blair? It's a big step." 

That's why Blair loved him. Even when faced with something that might hurt him, he was still making sure Blair was okay. 

Smiling he replied, " As long as you don't try to carry me over the threshold or anything, I think we'll be fine." 

And you know, I think I mean that. We'll be fine, Jim. 

* * *

End Maximum Strength by silvina: sdelcul@yahoo.com

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